All my bags are packed (but am I missing something?)

With our first pregnancy, my hospital bag was packed weeks in advance. It was full to the zipper with things I thought I’d need based on books and online articles I’d read. I overpacked and stressed myself out about it. With my next pregnancy, I threw things in a bag in between contractions. Packing, along with many other aspects of birth and baby raising, can be easier the second go-around. So, while by no means a complete list, here are items a lot of people find useful:

• Nursing tanks/bras: Good for easy access to skin-to-skin time.
• Slippers: For walking around the hospital in labor and use around the room postpartum.
• Flip flops: Sure they clean the shower before use, but still…
• Going home outfit for you and baby: Think comfortable maternity wear and seasonally appropriate onesie/jammies.
• Your own pillow: Preferably with a pillow case that will set it apart from hospital's.
• Snacks: For most women, eating and drinking during labor is safe and so helpful.
• Toiletries, and glasses if you wear contacts

For birth partner:

• Sweatshirt: Hospitals can be really cold. My husband had to have a friend bring one (and still hasn’t returned it four years later- sorry, Jarrod).
• Snacks: Hospitals feed mama after the birth, but dads need nourishment, too.
• Breath mints: Mama does not want to smell said digesting snacks while she’s birthing.
• Phone chargers:  Most phones get quite the workout during labor, delivery and postpartum.
• Car seat: The hospital won't let you leave without one installed and will watch you load up baby.

When you hire me, I will provide a more comprehensive list, but in all honesty, you’ll need less than you think. The hospital provides a lot of birthing and postpartum essentials and you’ll spend most of your recovery time in the bed because rest is best.

Intuition in pregnancy and birth

In my experience, as the baby grows and your body changes in pregnancy, so does your intuition relative to the wellbeing of yourself and baby. And while many people seem keenly aware of and reactive to what their gut tells them in other aspects of life, some find it hard to do so when they’re pregnant. I think part of this may stem from the fact that everything is so new with a first pregnancy, so you tend to rely on books or others’ advice to decide if what you’re experiencing is normal. I strongly suggest trusting your gut and bringing any concerns and questions, no matter how silly they may feel, to your care provider. Of course, you can also run them past your doula first if you feel like you need a filter for all of the questions that may arise. Your care provider should be willing to listen to your concerns and answer questions. If you feel like you’re not being heard, it’s never too late to consider interviewing and possibly switching providers.

During labor, being in tune with what your mind and body are telling you is also important. For example, maybe you’ve been on your back in the bed, but you feel like you should get up and change positions. It could be that your baby is trying to move to an optimal birthing position and your body wants to help the baby along. Listening to your body comes into play during the pushing phase of labor. ACOG states: “In the absence of an indication for expeditious delivery, women ... may be offered a period of rest of 1–2 hours (unless the woman has an urge to bear down sooner) ...”* This means that some people will rest before they begin the pushing phase, and there are cases when it is okay to do so. Most of the time, you can also listen to your body in terms of how you push. Again, from ACOG: “When not coached to breathe in a specific way, women push with an open glottis. In consideration of the limited data regarding outcomes ..., each woman should be encouraged to use the technique that she prefers and is most effective for her.”*

So while books and Facebook groups may be your first stop when you have questions, don’t forget that each pregnancy is unique. Your intuition is important and you should always feel safe sharing information with and asking questions of your care provider and birth partners. You know best how and what you’re feeling- it is your body, your pregnancy and your birth.

*https://www.acog.org/Resources-And-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Obstetric-Practice/Approaches-to-Limit-Intervention-During-Labor-and-Birth

All births for all people - LGBT Pride Month

With June being LGBT Pride Month, it feels like a good time to remind readers that I support all births for all people. I’m happy to serve people regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity and expression and welcome the diversity that the LGBT community brings to our small Central Kentucky towns.  Seeing as most people associate birth with women and often refer to the parents as mom and dad, birth can bring up some complicated emotions and experiences for those who live outside of these traditional views and identities. As your doula, I would work with you and your birth team to help you feel respected and see that your emotional and physical needs are being met during your birth.

I offer discounted rates to those considering adoption, so if you are part of an open adoption and the birthing person is interested in doula support, I’d be happy to discuss how I could help. I will also support surrogates if you would like to discuss gifting doula services to the person who will birth your baby.

Happy LGBT Pride Month to my fellow Kentuckians! And remember that About Birth, LLC, is about ALL BIRTHS FOR ALL PEOPLE.

Every birth is different

You will probably receive tons of unsolicited advice and sharing of personal experiences when you're pregnant. For some reason, people see that belly and think it's a comment box. While most of the time, they have good intentions, it can be overwhelming and not the least bit helpful.  The truth is, just as every human being is unique, so is every pregnancy and birth.  Even if you're not a first time mom, you can't expect for things to be the same with a subsequent birth.

So when you're making preparations during your pregnancy, do your best to put aside others' opinions and your preconceptions and really think about your current needs and desires. What do YOU want from a care provider? What do YOU need to do to feel prepared mentally and physically for the birth? As a doula, I wholly embrace the uniqueness of each birth and each birthing person. I do not have any expectations of you, but will support the ones that you have of yourself. Your birth experience is just that- yours. 

Choosing the right doula

Inviting someone into your birth experience is not to be taken lightly. It's one of the most intimate life events. So how do you go about choosing the right doula? It may sound strange for me to recommend other doulas, but I suggest that you hold in-person interviews with at least two, preferably three, doulas. The purpose of an interview is more about feeling out the connection between you and the doula than it is about discussing details of their services. For example, I lean towards being introverted and quiet in new relationships. I believe that this helps me be an excellent listener and a good birth partner. I'm by no means uptight and I love to laugh, but I can't recall being described as the life of the party (maybe because I'm too busy with the chips and dip, or wine and cheese).

The price of doula services are another factor to consider. Some doulas in and around Lexington, KY, will post their fees on their website. You can also check DoulaMatch.net. Depending on your circumstances, About Birth and other doulas in the Central Kentucky region may work with you on setting their fees. Personally, I believe that having a doula is not a luxury. The services that I provide hold great value and I didn't set my price without consideration of the market value of birth doula services in our area. However, I will do my best to come up with alternative arrangements to be your doula if we're the right fit.

If you're in the middle of your search, I wish you the best of luck in the finding the right birth doula. Please contact me to schedule a free consultation if you'd like to learn more about working with me.