pregnancy care providers

How do I choose my care provider? Statistics, Opinions, or Intuition?

Recently, my doula friend, Mother Well Doula Services, held an amazing webinar on birth options in Central KY. It was so wonderful, in fact, that I am offering the replay to any client who wants more information before they choose their birth location/provider. If you’re in the process of making these choices, hospital statistics and “amenities” can be very helpful in informing your decision. There’s also a really good chance that your friends, or even complete strangers, have told you which providers they’d recommend (and maybe you’ve gotten their full birth stories ((unsolicited?)) as well). Maybe the stats and recs lead you to meet with a provider, or even consider them your chosen provider. You go to your first appointment and your gut is raising red flags, or maybe it’s saying that you are safe and heard. So, what do you do with all of this information? What do you listen to- statistics, opinions, or your intuition?

Honestly, it’s a question that I cannot answer without knowing A LOT more about you. In general, I’d say that all of them matter, but the one that deserves the most weight will depend on your individual needs and plans. As a doula mainly serving folks birthing in Lexington, KY, I have worked with a lot of professors from local universities and colleges, including UK, Centre College, Transylvania University, and Lindsey Wilson College. Some of these clients are very data-driven and pay close attention to the statistics. For these folks, it’s important to know a hospital’s numbers, and likely more important to know the numbers specific to their provider’s practice. Many of us are also influenced by our peers’ opinions. Spend 20 minutes in a parents’ group on Facebook, and you can probably gather as many provider recommendations. Then, there’s also the feeling you get when meeting with or looking into a certain practice or birth location. It’s a lot to process, especially if this is your first baby.

As of Monday, I have watched 30 different providers catch/deliver babies. I’ve been to all of the hospitals in Lexington, most in Central KY, and a couple in the Louisville area. I’ve also been to home births with three different professional midwives. So, I’ve seen what the statistics look like in person/action. I know the offerings of most local hospitals. I have a really solid sense of how the different practices operate and which providers are most in line with your desired birth experience. Maybe your friend says Dr. X is amazing or that Midwife Z is such a good listener, but to who are they comparing these providers? I cannot emphasize enough how valuable my experience with so many different hospitals, OBs, midwives, doctors, and nurses is to you when you choose me as your doula. While protecting specific client details, I promise to be transparent about what I have witnessed as a doula.

You’re likely to hear a lot of noise in terms of opinions when you’re pregnant. It’s rarely helpful and often causes you to question your own intuition. While there are certain professionals who are incredibly knowledgeable about the medical side of birth, or the statistics and evidence around birth, as a doula I have a broad perspective on birth experiences in Central KY. I also do my best as a professional to remain unbiased and provide information that is specific to you and your needs. I also feel best aligned with clients who are able to tune into their intuition about providers. You know better than anyone what is best for you, your baby, and your body. Did you feel rushed and ignored? Listen to that. Were you surprised that your blood pressure stayed normal and that you didn’t feel embarrassed asking all of the questions you put in your phone notes before you left home? Wow- that’s meaningful. I’m here to listen to you and provide unbiased informational support.

Every birth I’ve supported has been different in so many ways. Yours will be different from those. I hope to help you quiet outside noise (and even noise in your own brain) and help you focus on what is important to you. I don’t have a list of recommended birth locations or providers and would never blast a recommendation to the general public because everyone’s needs are different. Your situation is unique and I’m ready to support your decision making with unbiased informational support and active listening. I will never doubt that you know better than anyone what is best for you.

Condescension and Dismissal in Pregnancy and Birth

Being a doula and someone who cares about the emotional, informational, and physical support a birthing person receives, so many of the Lexington, KY, moms’ group Facebook posts about pregnancy and birth light me up! Like right now, I’ve got that temples-about-to-burst feeling from reading through a post about how to manage discomfort in labor without an epidural. A couple commenters wrote that their providers reminded them that they wouldn’t receive a medal for unmedicated labor and that they should do what’s “easiest” and not try to be a superhero. The condescension in those remarks is repulsive.

The overused comment about a medal for forgoing pain medication does not even make sense and is demeaning to all birthing people. One choice doesn’t get some sort of reward that the other does not. Both are valid and can be the best option for any individual or situation.

Anyone who dismisses your preferences or belittles you for the decisions you make is not providing respectful care. In labor, as in every other moment of your life, it is your body. When you are pregnant or laboring, you don’t suddenly lose control over making informed decisions about yourself and your baby. 

A respectful provider should listen to and answer your questions. Yes, they know more about pregnancy and birth than you do. They study and train and practice their work for years. They can understand your medical history and determine your and your baby’s health. But what they are not is YOU. You are a unique human being with experience, values, and thoughts that they may not ask about or may not understand (or that you choose, for one reason or another, not to share). Expecting this level of care is not unreasonable and there are midwives, OBs, and family practice doctors in our area who provide it.

If your provider is demeaning or doesn’t take time to answer your questions, that’s likely the type of care you’ll receive during your labor and birth. And if a friend, family member, or stranger is going to make judgments about you based on your choice to receive pain medication, they’re probably not the ones to go to for advice or pregnancy support. I have seen firsthand how much the birth experience affects the emotional well-being of the birthing person and their family immediately postpartum and months/years afterwards. Please take time to create a birth team that will meet your needs and provide respectful, evidence based care. You are absolutely worth it.